Fix message duplication if something goes wrong after persisting the event (#8476)

changelog.d/8476.bugfix

synapse/handlers/federation.py

synapse/handlers/message.py

synapse/handlers/room_member.py

synapse/replication/http/send_event.py

synapse/storage/databases/main/events.py

synapse/storage/databases/main/events_worker.py

synapse/storage/databases/main/registration.py

synapse/storage/databases/main/schema/delta/58/19txn_id.sql

synapse/storage/persist_events.py

tests/handlers/test_message.py

tests/rest/client/test_third_party_rules.py

tests/unittest.py