Make sure it refreshes the apt cache before trying to install stuff

* no_tls is now redundant (#4613)
* we don't need a dummy cert any more (#4618)

Also:

* Fix wrapping in docker readme
* Clean up some docs on the docker image
* a workaround for #4554

There are two reasons this is a good thing:

 * first, it means that you don't end up with stuff kicking around your working
   copy ending up in the build image by mistake (which can upset the pip
   install process)

 * second: it means that the docker image cache is more effective, and we can
   reuse docker images when iterating on the docker stuff.

* remove dh_params and set better cipher string

Rewrite this in python so that it can be run in parallel.

since #4298, the optional dependencies are no longer installed with a simple
`pip install .`, which meant that they were not being included in the debian
package.

The easy fix to that is dh_virtualenv --extras, but that needs dh_virtualenv
1.1...

These aren't used, because we have a `log_config` setting.

Signed-off-by: Cédric Laudrel <dek@iono.me>

move the example email templates into the synapse package so that they can be
used as package data, which should mean that all of the packaging mechanisms
(pip, docker, debian, arch, etc) should now come with the example templates.

In order to grandfather in people who relied on the templates being in the old
place, check for that situation and fall back to using the defaults if the
templates directory does not exist.

Rewrite the dockerfile as a multistage build: this means we can get rid of a whole load of cruft which we don't need.

Link to contrib/docker

This addresses #3224