This is basically a contrived way of adding a `Recommends` on `libpq5`, to fix #5653.

The way this is supposed to happen in debhelper is to run
`dh_shlibdeps`, which in turn runs `dpkg-shlibdeps`, which spits things out
into `debian/<package>.substvars` whence they can later be included by
`control`.

Previously, we had disabled `dh_shlibdeps`, mostly because `dpkg-shlibdeps`
gets confused about PIL's interdependent objects, but that's not really the
right thing to do and there is another way to work around that.

Since we don't always use postgres, we don't necessarily want a hard Depends on
libpq5, so I've actually ended up adding an explicit invocation of
`dpkg-shlibdeps` for `psycopg2`.

I've also updated the build-depends list for the package, which was missing a
couple of entries.

In the debian package, make the virtualenv symlink python to /usr/bin/python3.X
rather than /usr/bin/python3. Also make sure we depend on the right python3.x
package.

This might help a bit with subtle failures when people install a package from
the wrong distro (https://github.com/matrix-org/synapse/issues/4431).

Otherwise people can't upgrade from matrix-synapse without removing it first

...  to allow installation alongside our matrix-synapse transitional package.

since #4298, the optional dependencies are no longer installed with a simple
`pip install .`, which meant that they were not being included in the debian
package.

The easy fix to that is dh_virtualenv --extras, but that needs dh_virtualenv
1.1...