* remove psutil and replace with resource

The intention here is to make it clearer which fields we can expect to be
populated when: notably, that the _event_type etc aren't used for the
synchronous impl of EventContext.

The `http_proxy` and `HTTPS_PROXY` env vars can be set to a `host[:port]` value which should point to a proxy.

The address of the proxy should be excluded from IP blacklists such as the `url_preview_ip_range_blacklist`.

The proxy will then be used for
 * push
 * url previews
 * phone-home stats
 * recaptcha validation
 * CAS auth validation

It will *not* be used for:
 * Application Services
 * Identity servers
 * Outbound federation
 * In worker configurations, connections from workers to masters

Fixes #4198.

This makes it easier to use in an async/await world.

Also fixes a bug where cache descriptors would occaisonally return a raw
value rather than a deferred.

The expected use case is to suppress MAU limiting on small instances

This is in preparation for having multiple data stores that offer
different functionality, e.g. splitting out state or event storage.

* Fix presence timeouts when synchrotron restarts.

Handling timeouts would fail if there was an external process that had
timed out, e.g. a synchrotron restarting. This was due to a couple of
variable name typoes.

Fixes #3715.

This fixed the weirdness of 400 vs 404 as http status code in the case
the filter id is not known by the server.
As e.g. matrix-js-sdk expects 404 to catch this situation this leads
to unwanted behaviour.

Hopefully this will fix the occasional failures we were seeing in the room directory.

The problem was that events are not necessarily persisted (and `current_state_delta_stream` updated) in the same order as their stream_id. So for instance current_state_delta 9 might be persisted *before* current_state_delta 8. Then, when the room stats saw stream_id 9, it assumed it had done everything up to 9, and never came back to do stream_id 8.

We can solve this easily by only processing up to the stream_id where we know all events have been persisted.